Hello 5 kilos, Welcome to my Hips!

It's been a while and in my (blogging) absence I have gained a wonderful 5 kilos (11 lbs)! Wow, I am so excited about it because now I have to lose it allllllll oooooooverrrrrr againnnnnnnnn! I am such an idiot! I have got to STOP giving up!  I feel like this was made just for me......

I've had a bit of a rough time lately and how do I deal with it?  I stop!  I stopped caring about what I ate, it's been an all-round-non-stop binge fest with no exercise, not a squat or sit-up in sight.  Basically, I just stopped caring about myself.  The worst part of it all is that I knew I was putting weight back on, I could feel it on my body before I even stood on the scales, but I just kept going and going and going.

All those self-hating, negative feelings that I have worked so hard at getting rid of started flowing back so easily and that's when I decided to stop not caring.  I have gone back to Weight Watchers to make it all a little easier for me.  I like having a schedule to follow, I like to plan things and have lists and WW has a healthy check list for each day and I am looking forward to checking everything off of it every day.

I am glad I have access to the recipes again and I feel ready to focus.  I am such an emotional eater and all it causes me to do is sabotage any progress I have made.  I have also simplified my life by deleting most of my social networking sites - tumblr, instagram, daily mile, twitter and some others.  They were taking up too much time that should have been used elsewhere.  I came so, so close to deleting this blog too, but am very glad I decided against it, I do so much better when I am blogging here.  The bottom line is I don't want to feel like this anymore :)

Yes I can do it!  And I'm going to do it!

I have an end of year singing concert in December and I refuse to stand up on that stage in front of hundred's of people at my current weight.  I am already freaking out about having to get up on the stage, but I know I will feel a thousand times better about it if I have lost at least 10 - 15 kilos.  I am letting my singing be my motivation. 

Please share with me......

• Have you ever done something you were terrified of?
• if so, how did you calm yourself?
• How do you deal with unwanted weight gain?
• What is your main motivation to lose weight / get or stay healthy?

Thursday tHighlights & Singing

*Weigh-in*

97.5 kg (215 lbs)

+ 1.4 kg (3 lbs)

*Weekly Review*

There isn't much to report here as I really didn't do much this week.  Exercise was minimal and food was okay.  The scales didn't say what I wanted them to, but sometimes the scales lie to me.  I did however semi-conquer a huge fear of mine!!

One of my greatest fears is public speaking and so much so that I actually did the majority of my Education degree by correspondence just to avoid the oral presentations.  Last Saturday night, not only did I get up in front of a small crowd of about 20 - 25 people, but I actually sang a song, using an actual microphone in a singing competition.  I purposely chose the heat (4 heats) with the least amount of people in it cause it meant that I would be singing in front of the smallest crowd.

I love to sing, but have only ever done it in the school choir and would always refuse solos.  I was happy with the rest of the pack as it was easier to hide, to blend in.  Recently, just before Easter, I started singing lessons and as of 3 weeks ago, I moved into a group class.  When I say group class, I mean me, the singing teacher and 1 other lady and we have a huge amount of fun.  Sarah my teacher somehow convinced me to go in the competition.  I think the fact that the competition was beginners only helped me feel better, anyway, I ended up agreeing and last Saturday was the big event.

To my total and complete dismay (and horror), I made the top 10 which means I am in the final and have to do it again this Saturday!  I was pleased and happy that someone thought I was good enough to be in the final, but I am also scared and nervous about having to do it again.  I just keep telling myself that if I did it once, I can do it again.

I must

in myself more :)

The Good

• I was careful with what I ate, but obviously not careful enough.

The Bad

• I didn't exercise as much as I should have.

The Ugly

• I gained 1.4 kg

*This Weeks Challenges*

I Won't . . . . . . . . . .

• Eat carbs after 5pm 
• I know this can sound silly and extreme, but limiting my carbs to breakfast and lunch really does have an effect on my weight loss
  
• Eat white bread
• Count calories
• I know this sounds weird, but I have had more success in the past when I have simply focused on eating healthy, nutritious foods instead of counting calories

I Will . . . . . . . . . .

• Pre-plan all of my meals
• Drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water
  
• Exercise for a minimum of 30 mins a day

*Health Blitz*

My Healthy Blitz is making a come back cause I have decided to go back to doing what I know works for me and I know that I was really committed and focused when I started the health blitz.  This week I will be swapping boredom eating with a minimum of 5 mins on the stepper.  I figured 5 mins was long enough cause the stepper is manual and really old, meaning it's hard to use.

*358 days*

 

*In the Kitchen*

This week I made a new smoothie.  I called it the :

Bluenana Berry Smoothie

• 250 mls Coconut Water
• 1 frozen Banana
• 125g (1 punnet) frozen Blueberries
• 2 handfuls of Spinach
• 1 serve Chocolate Whey Protein Powder **I only used this cause I got a free sample sachet, but I am extremely glad I did.  It added a nice, subtle chocolate flavour to the smoothie.

 

This smoothie was thick and creamy!  Even though it has 2 handfuls of spinach in it, the blueberries totally dominated the usual green colour making it a pretty pinkish hue.  Can't be unhappy with pink :)

*Thursday Thoughts*

Please share with me......

• Do you count calories? 
• What is your favourite go-to / low on time exercise to do?
• Have you noticed any food events that really have an effect on your weight?
• Eating after a certain time?
• Is there a Particular type of food you need to avoid?
• Do you still allow yourself occasional treats? 

Ready to Roll

I am feeling so much better at the moment, I feel like I am back to my old self and ready to continue on with my journey :) 

I have lost a tiny bit of weight bringing my total loss (as of this morning)  to 19.1 kg (42 lb).  My exercise has still been non-existent, but I have plans to change all of that as of today.  I am going to re-start the 30 Day Shred.  I know it's going to hurt, but I also know that's it is totally worth it.

bring it on!

I also have plans to start the 100 push-ups program and re-start the 200 squats program.  I figured that I could do both together considering one uses legs and the other arms - it just made sense to me.  My treadmill will be making a comeback as well.  I have missed my intervals, they always make me feel so good.  

I actually managed to run outside the other day.  It wasn't far at all, but it's a start.  Hubby and I had taken the kids to the park which is next to a football oval.   I did one lap (told you it wasn't far) of the oval with a child on either side of me holding my hands.  It wasn't the easiest way to run, but I was happy with the fact that it was outside.  I am even considering going back to the oval to run, I feel more comfortable running there than on the roads.

Alan and I went for a bike ride the other day and I only had 1 accident.....

Of course Alan dropped his bike and rushed to my side to help me up nearly fell off of his bike from laughing so hard. I wasn't hurt so we continued to ride for around 30 mins.  We stumbled upon a fantastic bike / running track that we will be sure to visit again.  It will also be a great place to take the kids riding.  The tracks are all cemented with painted lines - they are just like mini roads and it's all set in parkland with no roads in sight.  I can't believe we've never been there before!

I have officially cancelled my gym membership and I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  If feels so good to not have to worry about what time it is and whether or not I have time to get to the gym.  I can do the 30 Day Shred in the time it takes me to get to and from the gym.  The only thing I will miss is the weights and possibly the cross-trainer (purely for the calorie burn).  I am still considering joining the 24 hour gym in July, but I'll just wait and see how I feel then.  

Please share with me......

• Do you workout from home, the gym, both or elsewhere?  
• What is your favourite exercise to do?
• What do you base your workouts on?
• Time?
• Distance?
• Calories burned?
• Other?