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The Squirrel says "Don't Fall"

Monday, July 18, 2011

That squirrel is me at the moment. 
I feel as though I am about to bomb out "big time!"

I had the best week last week.  I exercised 6 out of 7 days, I had a great weight loss for the week and then BAM!!!  I lost the plot, not completely, but close to it and with only 3 days until my next weigh-in, with no exercise in sight I am just hoping for damage control from this point onwards.

What is wrong with me??

After reading an inspiring post by Joanna from Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman about kicking the fat girl inside to the curb : 

"You are hereby given notice of your pending eviction.  You are to remove yourself, your sabotaging ways, your lack of motivation, and the poison of hurt you inflict on the inside of my soul." 

I have decided that I need to do the exact same thing.  I go so well and am really enjoying myself and then I suddenly revert back to old ways and ruin everything I have just accomplished.  The weird thing is that when I am doing well and losing weight I feel sooooo good and when I feel as though I have given up, I feel like a piece of poo so why, why, why do I do this to myself?????

I honestly don't understand myself sometimes.  Do I like feeling like crap?  Do I like the self-loathing I feel for myself?  I don't think I do, in fact I can honestly say that I hate those feelings so why, when I hate feeling defeated and as though I am about to lose all control do I just stop?  I stop exercising, I stop making healthy food choices, I just seem to stop everything that I shouldn't be stopping.

Like Joanna, I have decided to give that self-loathing beast inside of me the boot.  I am going to believe in myself and believe that I will win this battle and I WILL get to my goal weight.  

The self sabotaging is "over O.V.A.H"
"it's finished, burrito"


  1. Would it help to let you know that I struggle with the same thoughts as well? Great post.

  2. AnonymousJuly 19, 2011

    This is a terrific post. Like Kimberly, I have the same thoughts as well. I hope you're able to evict your tenant!

  3. I have heard that before I will experience weight loss I have to accept myself for how I am. Well, I tried that. I tried being forgiving and understanding and accepting. And so far nothing changed. Can I say self acceptance is a load of rubbish for weight loss? It is time to do battle with the EVIL fat girl who has taken over my body.
    What I meant to say is I sympathize with you.


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