Hello 5 kilos, Welcome to my Hips!

It's been a while and in my (blogging) absence I have gained a wonderful 5 kilos (11 lbs)! Wow, I am so excited about it because now I have to lose it allllllll oooooooverrrrrr againnnnnnnnn! I am such an idiot! I have got to STOP giving up!  I feel like this was made just for me......

I've had a bit of a rough time lately and how do I deal with it?  I stop!  I stopped caring about what I ate, it's been an all-round-non-stop binge fest with no exercise, not a squat or sit-up in sight.  Basically, I just stopped caring about myself.  The worst part of it all is that I knew I was putting weight back on, I could feel it on my body before I even stood on the scales, but I just kept going and going and going.

All those self-hating, negative feelings that I have worked so hard at getting rid of started flowing back so easily and that's when I decided to stop not caring.  I have gone back to Weight Watchers to make it all a little easier for me.  I like having a schedule to follow, I like to plan things and have lists and WW has a healthy check list for each day and I am looking forward to checking everything off of it every day.

I am glad I have access to the recipes again and I feel ready to focus.  I am such an emotional eater and all it causes me to do is sabotage any progress I have made.  I have also simplified my life by deleting most of my social networking sites - tumblr, instagram, daily mile, twitter and some others.  They were taking up too much time that should have been used elsewhere.  I came so, so close to deleting this blog too, but am very glad I decided against it, I do so much better when I am blogging here.  The bottom line is I don't want to feel like this anymore :)

Yes I can do it!  And I'm going to do it!

I have an end of year singing concert in December and I refuse to stand up on that stage in front of hundred's of people at my current weight.  I am already freaking out about having to get up on the stage, but I know I will feel a thousand times better about it if I have lost at least 10 - 15 kilos.  I am letting my singing be my motivation. 

Please share with me......

• Have you ever done something you were terrified of?
• if so, how did you calm yourself?
• How do you deal with unwanted weight gain?
• What is your main motivation to lose weight / get or stay healthy?

Thursday tHighlights & Singing

*Weigh-in*

97.5 kg (215 lbs)

+ 1.4 kg (3 lbs)

*Weekly Review*

There isn't much to report here as I really didn't do much this week.  Exercise was minimal and food was okay.  The scales didn't say what I wanted them to, but sometimes the scales lie to me.  I did however semi-conquer a huge fear of mine!!

One of my greatest fears is public speaking and so much so that I actually did the majority of my Education degree by correspondence just to avoid the oral presentations.  Last Saturday night, not only did I get up in front of a small crowd of about 20 - 25 people, but I actually sang a song, using an actual microphone in a singing competition.  I purposely chose the heat (4 heats) with the least amount of people in it cause it meant that I would be singing in front of the smallest crowd.

I love to sing, but have only ever done it in the school choir and would always refuse solos.  I was happy with the rest of the pack as it was easier to hide, to blend in.  Recently, just before Easter, I started singing lessons and as of 3 weeks ago, I moved into a group class.  When I say group class, I mean me, the singing teacher and 1 other lady and we have a huge amount of fun.  Sarah my teacher somehow convinced me to go in the competition.  I think the fact that the competition was beginners only helped me feel better, anyway, I ended up agreeing and last Saturday was the big event.

To my total and complete dismay (and horror), I made the top 10 which means I am in the final and have to do it again this Saturday!  I was pleased and happy that someone thought I was good enough to be in the final, but I am also scared and nervous about having to do it again.  I just keep telling myself that if I did it once, I can do it again.

I must

in myself more :)

The Good

• I was careful with what I ate, but obviously not careful enough.

The Bad

• I didn't exercise as much as I should have.

The Ugly

• I gained 1.4 kg

*This Weeks Challenges*

I Won't . . . . . . . . . .

• Eat carbs after 5pm 
• I know this can sound silly and extreme, but limiting my carbs to breakfast and lunch really does have an effect on my weight loss
  
• Eat white bread
• Count calories
• I know this sounds weird, but I have had more success in the past when I have simply focused on eating healthy, nutritious foods instead of counting calories

I Will . . . . . . . . . .

• Pre-plan all of my meals
• Drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water
  
• Exercise for a minimum of 30 mins a day

*Health Blitz*

My Healthy Blitz is making a come back cause I have decided to go back to doing what I know works for me and I know that I was really committed and focused when I started the health blitz.  This week I will be swapping boredom eating with a minimum of 5 mins on the stepper.  I figured 5 mins was long enough cause the stepper is manual and really old, meaning it's hard to use.

*358 days*

 

*In the Kitchen*

This week I made a new smoothie.  I called it the :

Bluenana Berry Smoothie

• 250 mls Coconut Water
• 1 frozen Banana
• 125g (1 punnet) frozen Blueberries
• 2 handfuls of Spinach
• 1 serve Chocolate Whey Protein Powder **I only used this cause I got a free sample sachet, but I am extremely glad I did.  It added a nice, subtle chocolate flavour to the smoothie.

 

This smoothie was thick and creamy!  Even though it has 2 handfuls of spinach in it, the blueberries totally dominated the usual green colour making it a pretty pinkish hue.  Can't be unhappy with pink :)

*Thursday Thoughts*

Please share with me......

• Do you count calories? 
• What is your favourite go-to / low on time exercise to do?
• Have you noticed any food events that really have an effect on your weight?
• Eating after a certain time?
• Is there a Particular type of food you need to avoid?
• Do you still allow yourself occasional treats?