Changing the Way I Think!

I was lying in bed last night wondering why my journey has been so very slow, when it dawned on me that apart from plenty of bad food choices, it was also a case of me trying to be like other people by doing what other people do or trying to live how others live their own lifestyles.  This is when I discovered that I am doing this for me, not for anyone else and not to be like anyone else.  This is MY journey and I am going to do it my way.

This revelation got me thinking about how can I make it work best for me because what may work for someone else isn't necessarily going to work for me.  As much as I love reading blogs, finding inspiration, getting motivated and gathering little tips and tricks to fight any further weight gain, I need to start doing my own thing.  I need to adjust them to me, to fit my lifestyle.  

Just because Julie from Peanut Butter Fingers gets up at 5am (sometimes before) to workout doesn't mean I have to and if I try and force the issue, I know that I'll resent it and I won't workout at all.  I can however, adjust the alarm clock to 6am - this would work for me.

One of Julie's tips for fighting weekend weight gain is to ........  

"Put a to-do list on your fridge: Make a mini to-do list for the weekend and tape it onto your fridge featuring easy, around-the-house things that need to be done (like the laundry). If you're heading to the fridge to fight boredom and not hunger, look at your to-do list and tackle one of the items on the list."

I love this idea and plan on using it, but the best thing of all, it doesn't need any amendments or adjusting - anyone (meaning me) can do this!

I have noticed in the past that when I make food my priority, I lose weight whether I have exercised or not, so the first thing I am going to adjust is food.  I have already made some changes to what and the way I eat, but there is definitely room for improvement.  What I really need to do is make it my priority every day, every week, not just a day or week here and there.

Exercise is also important for me and not just to assist in my weight loss, but because it makes me feel good.  The problem with my exercise is that I have been so focused on the exercise and whether I have been doing enough or too much that it has taken over and dominated this journey, but without a more consistent attitude with what is going into my body, the weight is simply not going to shift.

I need to remember this......

I need to do what is best for me, what I feel most comfortable doing and what I know I will continue to do.  Like so many other things in life, it's all about prioritising :

• Food - track it!
• Exercise - do it!
• Consistency - track it and do it everyday!
• Remember............

"Find Your Strong!"

This is a good motto for me today because I think I actually did it.  I think I just might have found my inner strength.  When my alarm went off this morning and instead of hitting snooze (10 times) I told myself that "no one else to going to run the fat off" and I got up and did a workout.  I started with workout #2 and then finished with #3.  I felt really good during #2 and it seemed to fly by, but I think that was more due to the fact that during the walking / catch my breath part I was searching Foxtel for shows to record and boy did I find a blast from the past.........

The treadmill isn't the only thing that causes me to catch my breath :)

After finding my 21 Jump Street gem to record I finally found what I was actually looking for - The Biggest Loser on channel 10, USA series and not sure what season, but I haven't seen it yet.  It was on a few weeks ago on a Sunday, but the past few weeks something else like the racing has been on and those things take allllllll day.  Anyhooo, I have found it again and am excited - easy to please I guess.

The second half of my workout didn't seem to go as fast, but at least I made it and without any changes so I was really happy with that.  I was about ready to fall off the treadmill at the end, but noticed that I wasn't far off the 6 kms so I just kept going till I got there.  I felt good after my workout this morning.  I wish I could capture the feeling in a jar and sprinkle some on me every morning I didn't feel like working out, I would be out of bed in a flash! 

*HRM Stats* 

• Duration : 1 hour 10.04 mins
• Calories : 765
• Average HR : 159
• Maximum HR : 180
• In Zone : 16.44 mins
• Distance : 6 kms

Not much else to report except that my computer died from old age and I was devastated because I have 15 months worth of photos on that computer waiting to go onto disc.  Luckily the hubster works with a computer wizz who is going to take the hard drive and burn everything off it for us - all I want is those photos!!!

I am using my son's laptop at the moment luckily he has a spare one, what, doesn't everyone?  His aunt (my sister) got him a laptop for Christmas last year for high school, but the school actually provided him with one as well so now he has 2

*Weigh-in*

I lost 1.8 kilos (3.9 lb) this week which I think was due to me actually tracking for a whole week.  I didn't miss a single item that went into my mouth including that delicious white chocolate Magnum ice-cream I had on movie night.  I find the counting calories so much easier than the points, yes, I have left Weight Watchers again and am back to counting the calories.  

The calories just make more sense to me - I know how many I am eating and I know how many I am burning.  It was a good first week of counting calories and I know I can keep it up.  I did it for a week so why can't I do it until I need to????  There is no reason why I can't continue counting and tracking for as long as I need to.  It's not even hard, I just made it a priority.

Feeling Like Kimmy

Kimmy talking about her wedding to Bretty :

"If I had of known the flowers and dinners out every night were going to stop, I never would've done it"

"When are ya comin' home Kim?...........I can't use the washin' machine"

*Kitchen Fun*

Well, yesterday I was feeling bored very creative so I decided to make something using all the seedy type things I could find in my kitchen and I came up with Choconut Seed Bites.  It was a success and failure all rolled into one.  They didn't turn out exactly as I expected, but they weren't revolting either. 

Choconut Seed Bites (2 pro points each)

My bites were actually supposed to be muffins, but they were a little flat.  I did use self raising flour, but I was thinking that some bi-carb soda may give them a bit of a lift??  Because these weren't a complete disaster and I do like them, I am definitely going to make them again with a couple of tweaks.  A bit more of a chocolate flavour is needed so I am thinking some chocolate essence, maybe?

This is how my masterpiece bites were created :

• 1 cup Wholemeal Self Raising Flour
• 1 tbs Cocoa Powder
• 20g Sunflower Kernels (Seeds)
• 20g Shredded Coconut
• 15g Slivered Almonds
• 10g Brown Flax Seeds
• 10g Black Chia Seeds
• 250ml Coconut Water
• Liquid Sweetener (equivalent to 1 tbs of sugar)
• 1/4 tsp Xanthan Gum 
• I used the gum cause the batter was a little thin after adding the water

Simply combine all the ingredients, you can even use a bowl if you like, mix together well and then spoon into a greased muffin pan - makes 12.  I baked mine on 150c for just under 15 mins.

****I have a strange oven - I cook everything on 150c and always, always for less time that you are supposed to cook it for.  Eg. if the recipe says to cook for 20 mins, I check it at 10 mins and maybe cook for another 5 mins*****

*Exciting News*

Baby number 5 is on the way!! Only kidding, the exciting news is that I tracked all of my food yesterday and I counted all of the points!!  I can not remember the last time I tracked 'n' counted and the surprising thing is that it was e-a-s-y.

Breakfast - 6 pro points

• 1 pro point - coffee
• 5 pro points - 40g cereal + 1/2 cup skim milk

Lunch - 7 pro points

• 5 pro points - Mini Pizza
• 2 pro points - 3 egg whites on side

 

The Mini Spinach & Mushroom Pizza was soooo good :

• 1 Herb & Garlic mini Pita (3 PPs) 
• A dob of Dolmio Classic Tomato Sauce (0 points)
• 6 baby spinach leaves (0 points)
• 1 chopped mushroom (0 points)
• 20g of tasty cheese (2 PPs)

On the side :

• 3 egg whites (cooked obviously) (2 PPs)
• 1 mushroom (0 points)

Dinner - 7 pro points

• Dinner Salad

• 1/2 medium avocado (4 PPs)
• 1 boiled egg (2 PPs)
• 20 grams of grated Haloumi Cheese (1 PP)
• Lettuce, carrot, cucumber, capsicum, beetroot, tomato (0 points)

That is not all I ate yesterday, but those are my main meals.  Just tracking and counting for 1 day has made me feel so good.  I think it's because I proved to myself that I can do it, that I actually accomplished something!

I don't think I will ever make a pizza with just tomato paste again - the Dolmio sauce on the base made a huge difference.  In fact, the difference with the sauce made such a huge impact on me that I even told crapolla face my husband about it.  He has no interest at all in my lunch, but I made him sit through a detailed description anyway - just for fun!  Fun for me that is :)

Portions, Snacks, Weighing, Tracking - It all means Food

My portion control has been pretty good lately so why am I not losing the weight? It's probably because of the constant snacking in between my wonderfully portioned and calorie controlled meals. I have been weighing everything I make, anything that I am going to eat. I even measured out 1 tbs of skim milk this morning to have in my coffee, I weighed out 40 grams of my cereal and then 1/2 of skim milk to go with it. My mornings start out really great.

It's OK to have a snack at morning and afternoon tea, but the snacks in between those snacks is ridiculous. The thing that bugs me the most is that I am not even hungry. I have started my 7 day food diary (as suggested by Michelle Bridges) and I am disgusted by what I see. I can definitely see what needs improving and removing from my eating habits. The snacking has to STOP!

Now, unlike tracking (which I have a huge issue with and find extremely difficult), I have been quite happy to complete my food diary each day, BUT the reason why is because with Michelle's diary I am supposed to list all the *naughty* stuff so I can see what needs to go. This is definitely something I need to get my head around - I NEED to be accountable and responsible for every morsel that enters my mouth, both solids and liquids. "We don't like to drink out calories" - Jillian Michaels.

Just because I don't write it down doesn't mean I didn't eat it, but because I didn't track it and can't see it written down, I just pretend that I didn't eat it. It works for me! No, it doesn't work for me. If it worked I would be at my goal weight by now.

I went to a Tuppaware party last night hosted by my old person trainer. I was talking to her about her daily food intake and after talking to her I am definitely going to put more effort into my virtual workday. Caroline's food day goes like this :

• Breakfast : 8 am (oats / porridge)
  
• Snack : 10 am (fruit)
  
• Lunch : 12 pm (pasta)
  
• Snack : 4 pm (fruit)
  
• Dinner : 5 pm (lean meat / salad / veges)
  
• Snack : 8 pm (yoghurt)
  

I wish she was still my PT, she was my favourite although I didn't think so during each session - she was always pushing me out of my comfort zone. My trainer before Caroline was good, but if I didn't want to do something, I didn't have to, I used to get it easy with her. Caroline is like Michelle Bridges, she doesn't care if your sore or tired - just get on with it. I never complained, I was too scared, so I just did what I was told, no matter how much pain I was in.

*Portions*

old bowl

new bowl

new bowl inside old bowl

old plate

new plate

new plate on top of old plate

Tracking, Tracking and........Tracking!!

Why is tracking so hard for me???

It is the hardest part of my weight loss journey. I have never really understood why tracking is so hard for me when it really is as easy as writing a list.

I like writing lists - I write them all the time for shopping or reminding me of things that I need to do. If I don't write things down and make lists I forget what needs doing or buying from the supermarket. So WHY, when it comes to tracking is it so hard for me? Why do I find it so difficult to list my foods and just WRITE them down?

Luckily for me Bitch Cakes has written a wonderful post on this exact same topic - Tracking. She has made some wonderful realisations of her own about her tracking and has just spoken about tracking in general. As usual it has really helped me to see where I am going wrong with my tracking and forced myself to look at my reasons and ask myself the same questions.

Time for some Q & A :

• Why don't I track?

Not sure if it pure laziness or a form of denial, maybe a combination of both. I don't mind tracking the "good" foods, but I don't want to see the "bad" stuff - the stuff I've eaten out of frustration that I know I shouldn't have eaten and even at the time of consumption, I knew I shouldn't be eating it - what is wrong with me? Oooops, wrong spot, this should be another question for myself.

• Does it help me if I don't track?

No! It doesn't help me achieve my goals if I don't track.

• Do I lose (weight) when I track?

Yes! I do lose weight when I track. I need to track to lose the weight as I only tend to track the "good" foods, the foods that I should be eating. I don't like tracking the foods filled with sugar and other rubbish - denial.

• Why when I go over my points/calories do I just stop tracking?

It's denial - pure and simple! I hate having to look at the foods that have taken me over my daily allowances so I just don't write it down and I stop tracking altogether for the day.

• Why don't I FORCE myself to be accountable for the "wrong" things I have eaten?

I think it's just a way of denying that I ate that specific food and I don't want to have to look at it written on my list. The thing is though, I know that just because it's not written down for me to see it that doesn't mean that it doesn't have calories.

• What is wrong with me?

Denial is what is wrong with me. When I read back through my (rather pathetic) Q & A's to myself, there is one thing that pops up in each one - Denial. I simply don't like being accountable to all the bad food choices I make. As Bitch Cakes says (in short) - whatever "I choose to ingest are my choices, the least I can do is be accountable for them."

I know that for me to really change my life successfully in the ways that I want to, I need to be able to track every single thing that I eat. It needs to be automatic and needs to be done. I know that once I reach goal I will still have to continue to track what I eat.

If I got this big once but just eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and NOT being accountable for it, then it can just as easily happen again. This is for life, it's a life time change.

iPhone Applications

 

I have found a few good iPhone applications on weight loss. One is called Target Weight and as you update your weight it displays how many kilos left to go. There is also a visual graph of your losses (and any gains you may have) . Now I knew my weight loss has been slow, but I didn't realise it was THIS slow! I went in to have a look at my graph and it told me what my average weight loss per week was plus some other information and then the last bit says - at this rate, you can reach your Target Weight on 13 / 2 / 2013. WHAT??? 2013 - two thousand and thirteen.

I couldn't believe it. I want to be at goal by December 1 2011, not February 2013 so in light of this "announcement" I will definitely need to get a move on and start losing faster than what I have been doing. This just proves to me that I haven't been following the WW program properly because if I was, surely it wouldn't take me that long to get to goal.

Anyway, this bit of information has really forced me to see exactly how slack I have been . I know it's not the exercise that is letting me down, it is obviously the food so I will really have to crack down on that and track, track, track my way to goal. Only I can do this for me, no one else is going to so now I need to take responsibility for my slackness and get moving towards a better, healthier and happier me.

Getting the hang of it - Finally!

I have been following WW for a while now and have been doing well until ProPoints was introduced. For some reason and I can't figure out what, it just threw me for a 6. It put my head out of alignment and it felt like I had to start from scratch AGAIN and I started gaining weight AGAIN. However, the difference this time is that I have managed to keep any gains to a minimum and I have finally turned the corner and seem to have started to lose the weight again.

I was contemplating leaving WW, but I realised that I don't want to leave, I like being a part of something that has such a strong and supportive community so I have decided to stay and continue on the journey and I can do this 2 ways : 

I can either continue how I am going, slowly losing here and there or I can kick myself in the butt and get going by embracing the change completely, not just doing bits and pieces, but completely so that means I have to track all day everyday and not just half a day a few days a week. I know there has been a lot of success on the new points system and I know that if I just buckle down I will have the same success as well.

I will still be apart of WW and follow the program, but on my terms and what I mean by this is that I am only going to eat when I am hungry (something I learned on Core) - not because I still have points to use up! There are some days when I could just eat and eat and eat and then other days where I could go without eating at all. I have also been experimenting with having my main meal at lunchtime so I don't go to bed with a stomach full of food that isn't being burned off. Some nights I am not even hungry because I had a big lunch and I am tired of eating dinner just because it's dinner time. Most nights, especially if I have been to the gym, I just want something light like a few pieces of fruit, but then WW is telling us not to over-do the fruit so I am being careful about that as well, but I love my fruit, I always have.

When I started WW for the 2nd time in my life there was the Core program - it was fantastic! I didn't have to count any points unless I used my 21 weekly points. When I first started on Core I ate soooo much fruit - 5 and sometimes 6 pieces a day and I lost weight consistently each week. After losing 30kg this way WW went and changed the program and NO MORE CORE! I was devastated and started to lose the plot and started gaining. I really resented having to count points for pasta and fruit again, but I finally got my head around that and started losing again. Now there is ProPoints and the same thing has happened. I lost the plot for a little while, but I am back now and finally starting to lose again. Everything seems to finally be falling into place for me and I am enjoying the new system.

Hopefully I will follow this through, well I am determined to see this through to the end and reach goal by the end of this year and this will be my last time joining WW - I just need to refocus.

What can I say??

Sad Kitty! This is how I feel right now.

This week marks 4 gains in a row, despite my 10 in a Row Challenge. After last weeks gain (3rd in a row), I set myself a challenge to lose 10 weeks in a row and I have failed the first week. I put on 1.2kg which is huge, but I have lost 500 grams of that already!!

There is something going on somewhere that I just can't see. I have been going to the gym, but not as much as normal and I haven't even been bothered to log it in my activity section - these gains are really getting me down. It's not like I have just given up and am eating anything and everything in sight, but then again I haven't been tracking properly and that is obviously having a huge effect on my losses or in my case lack of losses.

Whenever WW changes the system I get thrown all over the place and it takes a little while for me to really wrap my head around it, I think it's just something about me not liking change that much. I was doing really well on the Core program where I lost 30kg and then WW brought in Simply filling and the same thing happened I lost track of everything and it was really hard for me to go from no points to having to count everything. I hated counting 5 points for my pasta where on Core it was point free and it took a while to get my head sorted. During that time I stacked 20kg back on before I got my head around it and started again. I was doing really well again and then BOOM another change. I am determined not to let history repeat itself again, but it feels as though I just can't control it. I just feel like crying.

P.S. Not a huge fan of Miley, but my kids love her. I do love her song The Climb though :

"It aint about how fast I get there, aint about what's waitin' on the other side. It's the climb"

- Miley Cyrus

Not the best week!

I haven't really had a great week this week. My weigh-in last week was a STS so why didn't that inspire me to kick my own butt?? I only made it to the gym 3 times instead of 6 which is only letting myself down. I am feeling really disappointed with myself today. My eating has been OK, but again my tracking is shocking. I am actually looking forward to ProPoints starting next week cause maybe this is the tracking inspiration I have been looking for.

I think I may have to start my exercise challenge again and this time for 12 weeks because apparently that's how long it takes to create a new habit. My challenge is to go to the gym 6 times a week and for a minimum of 1 hour. I suppose I could say exercise 6 days a week rather than going to the gym, but I just love going to the gym, it gets me out of the house and away from everything stressful in my life. It doesn't matter if it's raining cause I can still get my treadmill walk done and sometimes with a little running, well closer to a shuffle than a run, but it's a start. The gym is my ME time and I find that I really need that time to clear my head.

Good Day

I had a relatively good day today food wise, I didn't track which is something I am supposed to be focusing on, but I didn't over eat so that was a bonus. I am so close to the double digits so I don't want to ruin my next weigh-in. I did have a really good exercise night. I started with a Body Attack class and as usual Louisa pushed us really hard so I was actually quite exhausted, but I pushed on and did some extra cardio stuff. I wore my HRM as usual and I even wore my pedometer - I actually remembered and I did just over 10,000 steps.

I started with 10 mins on the bike, 10 mins on the cross trainer and then 30 mins on the treadmill. I was supposed to do 20 on the cross trainer but I had to really push myself to do the 10 mins, my thighs were burning from Body Attack - bloody Louisa, no only kidding, I really do love her classes, she is great, really motivating and I try my best cause I feel like I would be letting not only myself down, but Louisa as well.

Totally Over IT

I just feel like poo at the moment. For the last 10 days the kids, myself and hubby have been sick, either someone is vomiting or pooing or both. It just doesn't seem to stop. Holly started 10 days ago, she seemed to have a 24 hour bug, the next day Christian, then Ava, then me and then hubby. The only one who hasn't been sick is Hayden - the oldest child and just when you think everything is back to normal it all starts again. 

On Saturday, my husband, Christian and Ava were all sick. My sister came down to Melbourne (from Brisbane) for work and stayed with us and she got it as well. Last night Christian was sick again so at 3.30am I am doing a load of washing and then this morning I had to do more washing cause Holly was covered in poop. This has been non stop for 10 days now and I am soooooooooooooooooooooo over it. I have only made it to the gym once in those 10 days and I can't handle it anymore. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going mad!! The only time I get away from it all is when I go to the gym, but because of everyone including me being so sick it has been practically impossible for me to go. I really wanted to go last night, but it was the twins birthday and we had some family over so that put that out. I am hoping to go tonight if all goes well. I don't even know how many loads of washing I have done and I am dreading the next electricity bill cause most of the stuff has been going in the dryer as it has been raining.

Sorry everyone, but this is just a huge vent post for me today. My weightloss has been crappy. I mean, I know I have lost and I am happy with that, but 400 grams in 2 weeks just isn't good enough. I was losing over a kilo per week as I was tracking properly and exercising and the best thing was I was really, really enjoying it and now it has all come to a stand still. I am even getting text messages from the gym asking where I am and to top it all off, my husband comes home from work yesterday with a box of 500 Timeout chocolate bars...........................

Quick Update

I don't know whether I am game enough to put up my photos yet, they are so hideous I won't even show them to my husband (how bad is that??).

Anyway, just a quick blog today. I have been tracking all week and drinking all of my water, but my exercise has been on the low side so my focus for next week is my water + exercise. The following week my focus will be water + exercise + portion sizes and so on. I am hoping that by doing this I will just effortlessly fall into a fantastic routine where all of these little things become second nature and I will no longer have to even think about it cause it will just be a natural part of my everyday life.

I have to remember that this is not a diet or fad, it is a lifelong commitment that will see me living a full, healthy and much happier life for me and my family.