Ready to Roll

I am feeling so much better at the moment, I feel like I am back to my old self and ready to continue on with my journey :) 

I have lost a tiny bit of weight bringing my total loss (as of this morning)  to 19.1 kg (42 lb).  My exercise has still been non-existent, but I have plans to change all of that as of today.  I am going to re-start the 30 Day Shred.  I know it's going to hurt, but I also know that's it is totally worth it.

bring it on!

I also have plans to start the 100 push-ups program and re-start the 200 squats program.  I figured that I could do both together considering one uses legs and the other arms - it just made sense to me.  My treadmill will be making a comeback as well.  I have missed my intervals, they always make me feel so good.  

I actually managed to run outside the other day.  It wasn't far at all, but it's a start.  Hubby and I had taken the kids to the park which is next to a football oval.   I did one lap (told you it wasn't far) of the oval with a child on either side of me holding my hands.  It wasn't the easiest way to run, but I was happy with the fact that it was outside.  I am even considering going back to the oval to run, I feel more comfortable running there than on the roads.

Alan and I went for a bike ride the other day and I only had 1 accident.....

Of course Alan dropped his bike and rushed to my side to help me up nearly fell off of his bike from laughing so hard. I wasn't hurt so we continued to ride for around 30 mins.  We stumbled upon a fantastic bike / running track that we will be sure to visit again.  It will also be a great place to take the kids riding.  The tracks are all cemented with painted lines - they are just like mini roads and it's all set in parkland with no roads in sight.  I can't believe we've never been there before!

I have officially cancelled my gym membership and I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  If feels so good to not have to worry about what time it is and whether or not I have time to get to the gym.  I can do the 30 Day Shred in the time it takes me to get to and from the gym.  The only thing I will miss is the weights and possibly the cross-trainer (purely for the calorie burn).  I am still considering joining the 24 hour gym in July, but I'll just wait and see how I feel then.  

Please share with me......

• Do you workout from home, the gym, both or elsewhere?  
• What is your favourite exercise to do?
• What do you base your workouts on?
• Time?
• Distance?
• Calories burned?
• Other?

 

I made a Decision

I have quite a lot of stuff going on at home at the moment and have been having a really hard time getting to the pool and gym.  I'm facing a few obstacles which include a severe lack of motivation and the times which I am able to go to the gym (because of my type of membership), the kids and my husband's working hours.  Yesterday I made the decision to cancel my gym membership.

I think I have been putting too much pressure on myself lately and it has been making me feel like I have 10,000 people in my face always wanting something.  I'm trying to be the best mother and wife I can be while trying to fit my health in as well, but lately I have been coming last again.  Constantly putting myself last all the time is part of the reason I ended up at 115.2 kg (253 lb), I don't want to go back there.

I think I have given up a little because of the expectations I put on myself.  Apart from all the home duties that need to be done I've been stressing about not going to the gym.  I feel like I have to go and when I don't get there I feel so awful and ashamed of myself.  I seem to be stuck on a negative round-a-bout of "oh well, I didn't get to the gym yesterday so it doesn't matter if I don't go again today, what's another day anyway?"

Everything just feels heavy, like there is so much to do and that something has to be pushed to the side for me to get through each day and the only thing I can see that can be left out is me.  I've been uming and ahing about my gym membership for a few days now and the second I made the decision to cancel it I felt a huge release, I felt different, better!

I'm not going to stop working on my goals, this journey is too important to me.  I still have my treadmill, plenty of workout DVD's and the hubby and I both got bikes yesterday.  I have plenty to keep me busy, but the pressure of having to get to the gym between this time and this time is over.  

However, at the risk of sounding like a complete loony, I am considering joining another gym near me, that is open 24 hours (and it's only $9.95 a week).  It's not a fancy schmancy gym and group exercise classes are extra, but I really only wanted the gym for the weights anyway.  Another great thing about the 24 hrs is that after the kids are in bed, the dishes are done and house tidied up (for the millionth time that day) instead of me crawling into bed to watch TV, I can go and workout instead.  Not having the time constraints and having to squeeze everything in would really make a difference.  

I still have a few weeks paid up front on my other membership so that will give me time to consider joining the 24 hour gym.

Please share with me......

• Do you ever feel as though you are stretched too far?  
• How do you get back to feeling normal again?
• How often (if at all) do you put yourself last?

 

Bits 'n' Pieces

Like my title says, I've been training in bits and pieces!  I have a good day then a non-day and it just keeps repeating itself.  A few good days here and there isn't going to help me achieve my goals.  

I need to be consistent, which is proving difficult at the moment, for example, today is my "day off".  Alan's at work, Hayden and Ava are at school, Holly and Christian are supposed to be at kindy, but Holly has a throat infection and Christian won't go to kindy without her so my gym session for today is gone.  

That might sound a little weird saying my gym session is gone, so I think I should explain that the membership I have allows me access to the pool at any time, but I am only allowed in the gym between 12 pm and 5 pm Monday to Friday and any time on the weekend.  I'm probably being el-cheapo but the way I have my membership set up saves me $40 a month which is going into an account for school books and uniforms for 2013 - I suppose that's the responsible mother and budgeter (I just made that word up) in me coming out.

Anyhoo, I have gone way off topic, what was I talking about - CONSISTENCY!!!  Where is mine?  I want it and I know I need it so this week I am going to focus on being more consistent.  If I can't get to the gym, I will just swap my days around.  Alan works the night shift tomorrow so he can watch the kids and I can do today's gym workout tomorrow instead - Voila, problem solved.  I must learn to become consistent because.......

*Weigh-in*

I am down 300 grams (10 oz) this week, which gives me a loss of 18.3 kg (40 lbs).  I am still a week or two away from the 20kg, but I am really looking forward to getting there.  Every time I go to eat something I repeat to myself 20 kilos, 20 kilos and then decide whether the food is really worth it.  It's not a bad strategy and it seems to be working for me.

*Weekly Give Ups*

Last week I gave up dessert and to my surprise I really didn't miss it.  The only night I had dessert was Sunday because it was mothers day and my husband went to the trouble of putting an apple pie in the oven for himself me.

Speaking of mothers day, I hope all the mums out there had a wonderful day and got lots of presents like me, well not exactly like me.  I got the usual mothers day stall gifts from school and kindy and then a heap of "presents" from fart face the hubster to open.  To my surprise all the "presents" were actually already mine, he had just wrapped up things he found in my handbag and general items from around the house as well.

I also got a huge box of Cadbury Favourites chocolates........

........and was promptly told "those aren't for you, the thought was for you".  I also got a beautiful bunch of freshly cut flowers from the neighbour's gardens flowers, which the cat chewed on.  So wishing all the mums a happy mothers day (better late than never).

I am way off topic again!  This week I will be giving up.....thinking.......any sort of takeaway.  If I feel the urge for delicious, freshly made pizza, I will kick it to the curb and make my own fresh homemade version.  I will also be sticking with the no dessert thing just to make sure I really get rid of the habit.

Nothing else to report, but if I did, I think I would probably digress again and end up writing another 10 pages or so.  Enjoy your day :)

 

Reality Check

This week I gave myself an exercise plan to follow and so far it has been so-so.  I completely skipped Saturdays schedule mainly because it was the first Saturday in months that my husband had the day off and we ended up going to the markets, out for lunch, took the kids to the park and then to the football that night so I really didn't even have time to do anything.  I know being busy isn't an excuse, but my husband having a Saturday off is a very rare occurrence and we took advantage of it.

Now, because I was such a slacko on Saturday and did nothing on the plan - NO! wait, I did do one thing on the list, I weighed myself.  I weighed in at 97.2 kg (214 lbs), which gives me a total loss of 18 kg (39 lbs).  I love how close I am to losing 20 kgs (44 lbs) cause I actually find it motivating.  

Anyway, because I was so slack on Saturday I made sure I didn't skimp on Sunday.  I got up early enough to have the kids fed and dressed so I could make it to the gym by 8am when they opened and I did my weight session, which also included a smidge of cardio.  I love mixing a bit of cardio (15 mins treadmill and 10 mins cross trainer) in between the weights as it really helps to get the old heart rate moving, which in turn, means I burn more calories.  I also made it back to the gym later in the day for a Zumba class!

Monday is my rest day so I have the choice of doing nothing or doing either my yoga or pilates DVD.  The physical intensity in both of the DVDs is very minimal so it's more for just stretching out the old body.  I chose not to do them yesterday cause I didn't feel sore like I thought I would, but I am sure that could easily change at any moment.

Today's events are a little behind.  I slept though my alarm this morning which resulted in me missing my early morning swim, but I did make it to the gym a little later for my weights session.  The day is not over yet so I still plan to get the rest of my scheduled exercise in :

• 30 min Treadmill workout
• 100 push-ups program
• 200 squats program

Now all I need to do is fine tune my eating - that is where my real problem lies.  I have no problem with exercising, in fact I love it cause it makes me feel so good, but then I tend to ruin a good workout with bad eating choices.  My food choices are definitely letting me down at the moment so I really need to focus on what goes into my mouth.  I also have to keep reminding myself that.......

In light of my new found food focus, I have decided to re-incorporate a strategy that worked well for me in the past.  Each week I would choose a favourite food to give up for the week.  This week I am giving up dessert.  I have started to get back into the habit of having dessert which I am sure isn't helping me along on my journey.  I rarely have it, but lately it's becoming more frequent so this week I am ditching it.  I'm glad that I now have the ability to recognise when an old habit is returning as it gives me the chance to stop it before it takes hold again.

Please tell me if you ruin a workout with bad food choices.......

• Do you follow a food plan each day / week?  
• Have you ever tried to out-exercise a bad food choice?
• What tips do you have for me to make better choices?

 

Fitness Friday Blog Hop

Well it's Friday and today I am linking up with Jill's Fitness Friday blog hop (as soon as it is available).  I love blog hops as a way of finding new, interesting and motivating blogs to read, but the majority of hops I have come across are family / children orientated so I absolutely love that Jill from Fitness, Health and Happiness has a fitness hop.

Now, because the hop is Fitness Friday I suppose I have to talk about some fitness things.  At the moment I have none to talk about so I thought I would just list what I have planned for the upcoming week. 

Saturday

• Start weekly weigh-ins again
• Treadmill workout (60 mins)
• Create a weekly menu plan
• Boxing with the husband (30 mins)
• Start the 100 push-ups program
• Start the 200 squats program  

Sunday

• Weight session (60 mins)
• Zumba class (60 mins)

Monday (rest day)

• Stretch-a-robics DVD (60 mins) or
• Pilates DVD (60 mins)

Tuesday

• Swim (60 mins)
• Treadmill workout (30 mins)
• Weight session (60 mins)
• 100 push-ups program
• 200 squats program 

Wednesday

• Swim (30 mins)
• Treadmill workout (30 mins)
• Fitness at Home circuit (30 mins)

Thursday

• Treadmill workout (30 mins)
• 100 push-ups program
• 200 squats program
• Boxing (30 mins)

Friday

• Swim (60 mins)
• Treadmill workout (30 mins)
• Weight session (60 mins)
• Boxing (30 mins)

OK!  That's what I have planned and my goal is to achieve as much of it as I possibly can.  I'm looking forward to the new week which I have decided to start tomorrow.  I was going to weigh-in on a Monday, but I can't wait that long so Saturday will be my official weigh-in day from now on.  

I might even see if I can talk the hubster into some boxing tonight!!  

How do you like to workout.......

• Do you have a plan to follow?  
• Do you just do whatever you feeling like doing at the time?
• Do you prefer to workout with a buddy / partner or alone?

Ooooh, I just got a feeling of excitement about this new program of mine and that is definitely a good thing!!! Enjoy your weekend :)

 

101 Personal Goals List

Number 5 on the list : Go Hiking with the family.  It's a little to hard to go on a proper hike with 4 kids and I don't think the hubster would ever go on a proper one with me, so I have learned to compromise, well I have had to compromise otherwise I will never get anything on my list done.

While we were away on holidays, we went to most of the sight-seeing things they had available and one of those things was a lighthouse.....

Cape Schanck Lighthouse

We were a little early and the lighthouse tours weren't opened yet so we decided to go for a little walk and check out the scenery.....

We opted for the Loop Return to Carpark and the scenery was breathtaking.  Here are a few snaps :

everyone except me cause I was taking the photo

view from the track

Holly, Hayden, Ava & Christian

another view from the track

the longest set of stairs I have even seen

at the end of the loop and back near the lighthouse

Everyone enjoyed the walk so I am thinking I can use the experience as a stepping stone towards another walk/hike thingy - who knows??

*Weekly Circuit*

I have decided to include a circuit (which is to be done 3 times a week) into my fitness regime.  This weeks choice is the 90 Day Transformation which comes from The Reality of Skinny.  

P.S. Look at what has finally hit the stores in Melbourne!!!!!! 

I am loving the pineapple flavour, followed by the peach and look at all that protein - 12.4g per 170g tub and only 162 calories :)

Getting the family involved.......

• Does your partner/family enjoy doing the same things as you?  For example, hiking? 
• If no, How you do you get them involved?
• Vanessa at Gourmet Runner has suggested bribery!
• Do you have any other suggestions for me?

It's Time to Remove the Batteries

I weighed in this morning at 98.1 kg (216 lbs) and I am down 600 grams (1.3 lbs) this week which I was quite surprised about.  After I weighed myself, I did something drastic!  I took the batteries out of the scales and I will not be weighing myself again until May 21st (6 weeks away) as part of my Shelving the Scales challenge I have set for myself.

I know it will be hard for me being a daily weigher, but I am so tired of just focusing on what the scales say each day/week that I am glad to be having a break from them, it will be a nice change not having the scales ruling my life.  I am not going to give up on myself or my journey, I am just going about it in a different way.  I want to focus on my food and exercise, the parts of the journey I enjoy rather than it all being about that stupid number.

Previously I have used the scales to determine what I will do and have been doing.  I'm only down 200 grams today so I had better not eat that or I should do an extra 30 mins on the treadmill or it's WOW I'm already down 700 grams this week so I can relax a bit with the food and I can skip that workout.  This I think has been a huge problem with my whole journey.  I'm not supposed to skip a workout and eat 5,000 cupcakes or skip a meal because the scales say I can.

I want all the choices I do make to be based on routine.  I want waking up early to workout and eating healthy, nutritious foods to be an everyday part of my life, I want it to come natural to me, I don't want to have have to think about it anymore (my head hurts).  I don't want to say that my life got in the way of me working out ever again, because working out should be a natural part of my life in order for me to obtain and sustain my goals.

Losing the weight, becoming healthy and active is what I want my life to be, my "life" shouldn't get in the way of me doing that.  Finding that path with a healthy balance is what I desire, it's where I want my journey to lead me and at the end of my journey is a lifestyle - my life :

Tell me about your lifestyle.......

• Are working out and nutritious foods a permanent part of your lifestyle?  
• If yes, what tips can you share with me?  
• If no, what secrets do you have that make it easier for you?
• Do you struggle with your choices everyday?
• Does it get easier?
• How much do you rely on your scales?

A New Look & a Virtual 5k

It appears that it's that time again ~ time for a change, time for a new look.  Every time I feel as though I am starting a new chapter in my life, my blog also gets a makeover.  

I have changed my blog name (again) cause I don't feel that my old title fits me anymore.  Although I am still very much on my journey to shed the fat suit, see, here I am inside it......

.....the title just doesn't feel right anymore.  I still love attempting to run running, but swimming has also become a huge part of my life.  I have learned a lot over the past year, I am a little more accepting of myself and I even like myself a little now.  Anyway, I just felt the need for a blog makeover, something that was a better fit to how I am feeling now.

Yesterday I completed my 5k Virtual Jelly Bean run that was put on by Jess from runwithjess.com  I haven't run since January so I only chose to do the 5k - there was also a 10k, half marathon or a 21 km bike ride.  I will definitely join in again next year and am aiming to do the 10k, the bike ride and maybe, just maybe the half.  You can chose as many or as little of the events to compete in during the week it is held.  This year the Jelly Bean virtual was held from the 1st - 8th of April.

My 5k was very slow, but my goal yesterday was simply to complete the run.  It was hard, but I just kept going even though I wanted to give up a few times along the way.  After the first 1k I was thinking "this isn't so bad, only 4 more to go", after 2.5 kms I was thinking "great half way", after 3 kms I was thinking "I don't think I can keep going" and all the way to 4 kms I was thinking "just finish the rest tomorrow", but when I got to the 4 km mark I told myself "only 1 to go, I can do this - easy" and I put the speed up to 12 and ran at that speed for as long as I could (which wasn't very long).  I desperately wanted to finish the run under 50 mins and to my surprise I ended up hitting the 5 km mark at exactly 49 mins and 30 seconds - yay!

Even though I struggled through most of the race, I felt so good when I finished because I had finished it.  I pushed myself to keep going and that is all I really wanted to achieve.  I am so glad I took part in the race cause it's what I needed to give me that running kick start again.

I could really feel the run in my back afterwards and of course hubby said "your back's sore because you don't workout enough" I replied with "it's sore because it's always sore" stupid man!  My heart rate also soared towards the end of the race yesterday.  I paused everything (treadmill & HRM) and had to just stop and breathe till my heart rate came back down.  My HRM said my maximum heart rate was 235, but I think that's because it's the highest it goes, I honestly think it went higher than that.  I could feel my heart beating in my head, I had pain in my face and I just felt like poo.  After my little break I felt much better so I finished it.  I'm still here so all is good, but I think a trip back to the doctor may be a good idea.  

*HRM Stats*  For total session including cool down

• Duration : 1 hour 25 seconds
• Calories : 522
• Average HR : 146
• Maximum HR : 235
• In Zone : 30.12 mins
• Distance : 5.6 kms

Virtual events, what do you think about them.......

• Do you ever compete in virtual events?
• What's your favourite event (virtual or not) to compete in?
• Have you or would you ever hold a virtual event?

Drop a Jeans Size Workout

There are so, so many workouts floating around cyberspace and Pinterest it's actually a little confusing as to where to start.  I decided to just close my eyes and point to a picture on the computer and I ended up with.....

This picture links to fitnessmagazine.com and is called the Drop a Jeans Size Workout.  It has 3 separate interval workouts for you to choose from.  All you need to do is workout 3 times a week using any of the workouts you want to use in any combination you feel like doing.  This is a great choice for me with my new simplifying / flexible motto.  So, without further interruption (of having to pick up wet cat food off of the carpet cause someone who's 4 decided it would be a good idea to throw a bowl of it at her brother), here are the workouts ~ enjoy :)

Workout 1 : 20 min Interval Circuit

Workout 2 : 30 min Running / Walking Interval

Workout 3 : 30 min Cardio Machine (of your choice) Intervals

P.S. There is also a link to a Bonus Burner Cardio Workout!

What type of workouts do you enjoy.......

• Do you ever use workouts you find on the internet?
• What do you think about Interval Workouts?
• Have you got some workouts you have created to share with me?  I would love to give them ago!

Shelving the Scales

That's right!  I am putting the scales away for a few months.  I am a daily weigher, sometimes more than once, twice, three times a lady and it is getting me nowhere.  I have decided to give myself a 12 week challenge starting next Monday (9 April) and I am only allowed to weigh myself 3 times in the entire 12 weeks. I will weigh myself in weeks 1, 6 & 12 and will also be taking measurements in weeks 1 & 12.

The reason I have decided to do this is because that I am finding myself more and more reliant on what those stupid scales say each week and I thought that this 12 week hiatus will allow me to focus more on what I should be doing rather than what the scales will be saying each Monday morning.  

I am hoping to will be focusing on healthy food choices with the occasional treat or Mexican meal here and there and I will be more focused on moving my body for fun, instead of exercising to see a reduced number on the scale the next time I get on there.

I really, really enjoy exercising.  I love my swimming and my treadmill and the other day I took a Zumba class for the first time in about a year.  I think I laughed the whole way through it - I had forgotten how much fun it is to dance around while looking like a total fool.  

I am also enjoying eating healthy foods.  I had pizza the other week and it was horrible, I didn't like it at all and I could feel it just sitting in my stomach for the rest of the night.  I was wondering though whether it was just badly made, but over the next few days (after the pizza) I made some bad food choices and I didn't feel good at all.  My tongue felt like it needed a shave from all the extra sugar I had eaten and I just felt blah.

All of this is good news for me cause it tells me that I am making progress and even though it's extremely slow with one step forward and 100 backwards, I am getting there.  I am changing my lifestyle to a healthy one and the best thing of all is that I am enjoying it.

Speaking of exercise, healthy foods and weigh-ins, here are mine :

*Weigh-in*

Up 2.2 kg since I last weighed myself on the 19 of March, I am back to 98.7 kg.  I was down to almost 95 kg.  All I can say here is boooooo to me.

*Workouts*

This morning I went to the pool nice and early and completed 2 kms in just over an hour.  I would have shaved 5 mins off my time, but I was too busy talking to the lady in my lane.

Last Sunday (1st April) I dragged my butt to the gym and did a Zumba class followed by a nice 30 min swim completing 1 km.  I was surprised at how many people were at the pool cause it wasn't an overly hot day.  

*HRM Stats*  For Zumba 

• Duration : 58.54 mins
• Calories : 525
• Average HR : 145
• Maximum HR : 171
• In Zone : 29.48 mins
• Distance : -

After this morning's swim I indulged in a smoothie.  Well, a smoothie isn't really an indulgence, but when it tastes like banana ice-cream it feels indulgent.  

*Banana Cinnamon Ice-Cream Smoothie*

Into the blender :

• 1 cup Almond Milk
• 288g* frozen Bananas
• 1 tsp Cinnamon Sugar
• 1 tsp (7g) Honey

*There were 2 average sized, frozen bananas used*

The total calories for this smoothie were 333.  I actually had to eat it with a spoon cause it was so thick and creamy from the bananas.  Here's a picture to get you into the smoothie mood.....

still in the blender

in the glass ready for my tummy

How do you get your groove back.......

• What motivates you to exercise?
• Do you find that a sugary treat can make you feel awful?
• How do you get back on track after falling off the wagon?

Flexibility is the Key to my Success

As the title says, flexibility is the key, I mean who wouldn't want to be able to pick up a ball with their feet?

Look mum!  No hands!

No, not really.  I don't need to be picking up objects using body parts other than my hands while bending my body into the letter C.  I'm talking about my new, healthy life routine.  I need to be flexible about the whole thing.  

I love to follow a structured regime.  All I have to do is read what is on the program, list, schedule or whatever I use to write down my plans and goals for the week and that is that.  It's all or nothing as far as what is written on the paper goes.  I'm a creature of habit and like to do things the same way all the time, but I discovered this morning that being so rigid when it comes to becoming the healthy person I want to be is actually having a detrimental effect on my journey.

This morning is the perfect example of what I am talking about.  This morning I was supposed to go swimming, I was even looking forward to it.  I got all my gear ready last night so when the alarm went off this morning all I had to do was get up, get dressed and go.  I am in the pool, enjoying my workout before my brain has time to actually work out what I am doing.

This morning's swim did not happen!  Why would I go swimming when I was looking forward to it and actually wanted to go?  Why? Because the alarm did not go off!!!!

Anyhoooo, I even woke up at 5.34 am without the alarm, looked at the clock,  mumbled and grumbled something to myself about it being too late to go now, which for swimming it is, I need to be out the door by 5.20 am so I just went back to sleep - well done dumbass.  It wasn't until I got home from the school run that I realised how idiotic I actually am.  I was sitting at the table having my morning vice (white choc-a-mocha latte) when it occurred to me that although it was too late to go swimming....wait for it, this is the tricky part....I could have done something else at home!  Shock! Horror!  Something else - I can't do that, IT'S . NOT . WRITTEN . DOWN.

I didn't write treadmill, Zumba, 30 Day Shred, Shrink Your Female Fat Zones or any other form of exercise down on my weekly schedule, obviously I couldn't do anything else.  I wrote down swimming so that is what I had to do.  Flexibility is the key for me to succeed, to be consistent, to be persistent is what I need to be and do.  I have to be able to not be so stupid rigid with my routine and just get on with it.  If I can't swim, I'll run.  Now I can see myself writing and alternative exercise down - just in case :)

I don't bend rules, I bend keys

My 5 keys for success ~

• Flexibility - be it
• Consistency - do it
• Focus - have it
• Health - need it
• Desire - want it

I even made a poster......

What helps you to succeed on your journey.......

• Do you have a structured or fly by the seat of your pants routine?
• Do you like variety in your routine?
• Do you ever have those Uh-Ha moments realising how idiotic you've been like I have?

A little Too Ambitious

Earlier this week I gave myself the goal of losing 1.3 kilos and as it is 2 days to weigh-in and my weight is still the same, it is pretty safe to say that I will be lucky to lose 300 grams.  I thought I had my head back where it needed to be, but unfortunately, I was wrong.  My head is still here......

rather than where I would like it to be..........

I want to get back to enjoying exercise.  I was at the point where I looked forward to getting up at 5 am to go swimming, it was actually becoming routine, a normal part of my daily life and then I let someone ruin it for me.  I hate myself at the moment.  

I hate myself because I let someone make me feel bad about myself.  I let someone make me feel utterly useless and worthless.  I let someone make me doubt myself, my abilities and what I am actually capable of.  I let them, I did it.  By letting someone else make me judge and doubt my worth, I have let myself down.   

The good news though, is that I am aware of it (this time),  I am understanding how and why I am feeling the way I am.  The best news though, is that I know it's not true.  I know now that I am worth feeling good about myself and that my life is worth more than a Tim Tam or Crunchie mmmmmm Crunchie.  I know what I have to do to change myself and my life.  This time last year I would have just given up on everything and gone back to over 115 kilos, but NOT this time.

This time I know how to deal with and beat these negative feelings I am having.  I have been a little slow getting back into the swing of things, but I have devised a new exercise routine which has gotten me a little excited to start again.  I have an early morning swim planned tomorrow, followed by the dreaded 30 Day Shred with Jill (my BFF).  I have done level 1 before, so I know I can do it. 

Tomorrow is my day!

How do you get yourself out of a fitness rut.......

• Do you sit and wallow for a few months or more?
• Do you eat whatever your heart desires?
• Do you try and kick yourself in the butt and get moving again as soon as possible?