It's been a while and in my (blogging) absence I have gained a wonderful 5 kilos (11 lbs)!
Wow, I am so excited about it because now I have to lose it allllllll oooooooverrrrrr againnnnnnnnn! I am such an idiot! I have got to STOP giving up! I feel like this was made just for me......
I've had a bit of a rough time lately and how do I deal with it? I stop! I stopped caring about what I ate, it's been an all-round-non-stop binge fest with no exercise, not a squat or sit-up in sight. Basically, I just stopped caring about myself. The worst part of it all is that I knew I was putting weight back on, I could feel it on my body before I even stood on the scales, but I just kept going and going and going.
All those self-hating, negative feelings that I have worked so hard at getting rid of started flowing back so easily and that's when I decided to stop not caring. I have gone back to Weight Watchers to make it all a little easier for me. I like having a schedule to follow, I like to plan things and have lists and WW has a healthy check list for each day and I am looking forward to checking everything off of it every day.
I am glad I have access to the recipes again and I feel ready to focus. I am such an emotional eater and all it causes me to do is sabotage any progress I have made. I have also simplified my life by deleting most of my social networking sites - tumblr, instagram, daily mile, twitter and some others. They were taking up too much time that should have been used elsewhere. I came so, so close to deleting this blog too, but am very glad I decided against it, I do so much better when I am blogging here. The bottom line is I don't want to feel like this anymore :)
Yes I can do it! And I'm going to do it!
I have an end of year singing concert in December and I refuse to stand up on that stage in front of hundred's of people at my current weight. I am already freaking out about having to get up on the stage, but I know I will feel a thousand times better about it if I have lost at least 10 - 15 kilos. I am letting my singing be my motivation.
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Oh Jane, I was just thinking of you today and wanted to mail you but didn't manage to get around to it given I was working from home.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly where you are coming from - while I haven't put on that much weight I am certainly heavier than I wanted to be one week away from going to NZ. I can still fit into my jeans - just not as comfortably !!!!! And, I am really hoping I can fit into my jeans with my thermals on otherwise I'm going to be very very cold !!!!
I too am an emotional eater - it is something that I was working on and succeeding in not doing at times - just not all the time - I still fall back into the pattern when things get too too much for me.
My exercise has gone to pot since I ran the 10km race - I took a week off to rest - then said I had to wait until I had my orthotics - got my orthotics and since then have had a cold and felt dreadful !!! We leave next Thursday so now it is a case of waiting until we get back before I plan anything else - so slack - I feel ashamed and guilty about how I slack I have got with my eating and exercise - so, know that you are not alone - I am right here with you.
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How do I deal with unwanted weight gain? Story of my life, dear lady... Before May 2009 I ate better that day, or decided it didn't really matter and ate away. Since I've begun losing weight I still do pretty much the same, but deciding to get back on plan one day at a time happens more than the overeating...and thus I've lost weight. :)
Trust me, I do have my "I don't care!" moments and eat away ... for an evening. But I'm finding it better to simply say to myself, "Take it a day at a time, a meal at a time. " :)
My main motivation to lose weight and be healthy is to gain victory over food in my life. I have a high disdain for the out-of-control feeling that leads to overeating. Looking better in smaller clothes is an added bonus, but knowing that I am not controlled by food is the goal. :)
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