Crazy Lady Says What???

I could not believe myself this morning, but a small miracle happened! See that crazy face over there well that's exactly how I felt this morning. I am tired cause I have been awake since about 3am and when I finally started to get back to sleep at around 7am the kids came in so any hope of sleep was gone, plus I had to get up and get child #1 ready for school.

I got back from dropping #1 at school and #'s 2, 3 & 4 were all sitting at the table waiting to get changed and have breakfast while husband is doing whatever it is he does in the morning while not helping me. He thinks because he has to go to work that he shouldn't have to change kids etc - that's a whole other post, maybe I should call him husband #1!!

Anyway, I finally got clothes and food ready and then #'s 2, 3 & 4 decided they all needed to go to the toilet at the same time so there was fighting, screaming and crying about that. We do have enough toilets for them all, but 2 of the toilets are upstairs and they are not allowed upstairs by themselves because I am sick of finding things in the toilet - for example, whole rolls of toilet paper, toys, marbles or my mobile phone just to name a few.

Now, the toilet downstairs is attached to the laundry and after doing 2 loads of washing this morning and the weather not being the best I had to use the clothes horse to hang certain items like my husband's work shirt and my son's school shirt. With kids still in the toilet I hear #3 calling for help and I discover that he has done a poop and while doing so he has forgotten to aim properly and both shirts have been given another wash by him, not to mention the floor!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Eventually I had them all sitting quietly after another massive screaming fight about which show they would watch this morning - The Fairies, Lazy Town, Johnson and Friends, Bananas in Pyjamas and so on. With breakfast the kids have milk. My husband bought these new cups home yesterday with lids that are really easy for the kids to open so you can imagine how I felt after 3 cups of milk ended up all over the kids and the floor. That's me over there the one crying on the floor. I felt like I was going mental!!!!

The DANGER here for me was that I hadn't put away the breakfast stuff yet, so the bread, butter and jam were still sitting on the bench staring at me, inviting me to eat them and when I feel like this, what's the first thing I do? TURN TO FOOD! I stood at the bench just looking at the bread and imagining how nice a hot piece of toast with lots of melted butter and jam would be. I took out 2 slices of bread, but I knew if I had those 2 I would go back for more, at least another 2 maybe another 4 - this is where the miracle sets in. I put the bread away and I actually asked myself WHY was I going to eat all this toast? I must be going really crazy cause I even answered myself out loud with "Why would I eat that? It doesn't make me feel better, it just makes me fat" I was shocked that I had said this to myself - I have finally admitted to myself that my current, yet changing behaviour is what has made me fat. It's one thing to think it, but to actually say it out loud to myself is another.

I was amazed at how easy it was to stop myself from scoffing down 6 pieces of toast. Instead I made myself a cup of "magic" tea and got myself a bowl of grapes to snack on so instead of blowing my daily points plus most of the weekly points in one go I used up 1/2 a point of milk instead in my tea. I call it my magic tea, not because there is anything strange in there, though on some days I wish there was, but because it has a calming effect on me. I think it is because when I have tea I sit down and do nothing else but drink it, I zone out and just think about whatever comes into my head. All the thoughts about having to re-wash the pee off the shirts and having to mop the floors again today because of the milk when I mopped them last night before bed and all the fighting over toys and the complaining because I gave someone the wrong plate or bowl or the wrong coloured straw - all of that just goes away - I feel calm, well for a little while anyway. Then it's back to the storm. 

It has actually taken me about 2 hours to write this post because of all the other stuff that goes on, but I have finally finished it. It is a long one today, but I just needed a vent as well as sharing my minor miracle of putting the bread away, I like to call this my NO Power, ie, the power of finally being able to say no to things I never would have dreamed being able to say no to.