Earlier this week I gave myself the goal of losing 1.3 kilos and as it is 2 days to weigh-in and my weight is still the same, it is pretty safe to say that I will be lucky to lose 300 grams. I thought I had my head back where it needed to be, but unfortunately, I was wrong. My head is still here......
rather than where I would like it to be..........
I want to get back to enjoying exercise. I was at the point where I looked forward to getting up at 5 am to go swimming, it was actually becoming routine, a normal part of my daily life and then I let someone ruin it for me. I hate myself at the moment.
I hate myself because I let someone make me feel bad about myself. I let someone make me feel utterly useless and worthless. I let someone make me doubt myself, my abilities and what I am actually capable of. I let them, I did it. By letting someone else make me judge and doubt my worth, I have let myself down.
The good news though, is that I am aware of it (this time), I am understanding how and why I am feeling the way I am. The best news though, is that I know it's not true. I know now that I am worth feeling good about myself and that my life is worth more than a Tim Tam or Crunchie mmmmmm Crunchie. I know what I have to do to change myself and my life. This time last year I would have just given up on everything and gone back to over 115 kilos, but NOT this time.
This time I know how to deal with and beat these negative feelings I am having. I have been a little slow getting back into the swing of things, but I have devised a new exercise routine which has gotten me a little excited to start again. I have an early morning swim planned tomorrow, followed by the dreaded 30 Day Shred with Jill (my BFF). I have done level 1 before, so I know I can do it.
Tomorrow is my day!
How do you get yourself out of a fitness rut.......
- Do you sit and wallow for a few months or more?
- Do you eat whatever your heart desires?
- Do you try and kick yourself in the butt and get moving again as soon as possible?
Jane sorry to hear that someone took your power away from you. Good news is though I was looking after it for you and it grew so there is enough for the both of us!!! So here you go and let's make a deal that you and I will not let anyone do that to us again. No one will be allowed to make us feel worthless ever again!! Good luck hun, go get em!!!
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes. Yes.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on where I'm at specifically mi do find that making myself do something, rather than nothing at all, pays off the best.
The last time I was this low the weather turned cold, I had no gym membership and I quit walking. As I began to spread from lack of exercise I found myself falling into of hatred and that in turn affected my eating. I oroceeded to gain the weight back and now, years later, I'm finally seeing myself getting back down. I don't ever want losing that mojo for a short time to cause me to quit.
Hang in there...even if only by a thread and learn what you can from this experience. I will strengthen you more than you know.
I'm kit with you! :)
Go Jane!! I've never done the 30 day shred ... looks scary!
ReplyDeleteFitness is never my problem is the food. love my food.